the new truth

i am sick of all the hands in the world

i want presents damn it!!!!!

can someone (anyone) who gives a shit about me please buy me this jello mold? i feel like i don't get enough presents.... really...  i will tell you some other things i want too..just incase my friends start to care an ounce about my happiness... just saying 

SHUT UP!!!!

I sentence this owl to the electric chair.

a lot of different kinds of things happen

when crystal lil and i get together witchcraft happens...

and haircuts happen and cocktail hour happens 

and yummmmmy food happens..and we both learn alot about ourselves and each other.... i learned that i have 1950's best friend face...and crystal lil had an adult mouth even as a child..

 we learned a new hand gesture that represents the Huxtables (from the Cosby show duh) 

 and we made horseradish vodka....

oh..and had a pizza party.... and learned that a Russian woman can lift 30 pounds with her lady bits... SICK...why does a person have to do that???   ugh!

basically...it's nice to remember all the things you love about your friends... especially when you live far away... basically crystal lil makes me feel like my bones are real... and it helps me have better posture and know what the color puce is...  and when i'm with her i am able to find a entire collection of skin tone nylons and athletic sneakers...soooo glad we are friends!

the last time i saw you

we were in the same room as this unicorn....   

i think i am coming over tomorrow...are you ready for witchcraft? are you ready for my new classy  fingernail polish? are you ready for my suitcase full of rhubarb?

oh, fuck it, why not

Do daytime pajamas necessarily = depression? Who are YOU to say??

let's talk about haunted outfits for one minute

I just watched this movie, The Legend of Hell House, and it drove me absolutely bonkers. It's one of those movies that objectively isn't that great, but I can see myself watching this a million times because it looks so amazingly gorgeous. In a very particular way that seemed designed for my brain.

A lot of it has to do with this one character, a psychic played by Pamela Franklin (who I love, and is pretty much the reason I watched the movie in the first place). Her style is totally amazing. Forget what I said earlier about the psychedelic Bride of Frankenstein I found in Viva magazine. My new look is "oversensitive Puritan teenage psychic":

Please note that not only is ectoplasm streaming from her fingertips, she is dressed in a leotard, which you cannot tell from this photograph. But I mean. Doye, what else would you wear?

What else is required? Five thousand silver necklaces, and square toed red ankle boots. And giant collars and a weird cape/coat thing with puffy sleeves underneath. A body covered with cat scratches (way ahead on this one). And kind of a shitty dramatic attitude. I just realized this is totally not a summer look bee tee dubs.

What's up white/yellow Helvetica text on weirdly saturated color film making my brain freak out? Have you seen this website of all film title cards? Why am I such a nerd? Don't answer that. The guy who made this movie also made "Watcher In the Woods", so there you go.

this is part of the problem....IN LIFE!

i spent the afternoon being harassed by my mother and my x-boyfriend from j.r high...do you people know what that's like????  i hope not!!!!...clearly i am insane because i allowed this to happen.. my mother hates me and LOOOOOVES the x- boyfriend..... the two of them together suck my will to exist in this world.... it was a entire afternoon of them hating my face out loud as i cooked food for them... i was invited over... apparently to do work and be the butt of a lot of jokes and cherry pit throwing..i'm pretty proud of myself for not filleting any humans.... i know that they thought it was all in good fun.. but by the time i got home i wanted to dissolve my bones in a bath of acid and continue the rest of my life as a brain seeking zombie.....  next time something seems like a good idea to me..i will just slam my hand in the silverware drawer then take a nap...this plan will keep me out of a lot of trouble... hopefulllllly

i want everything to be ok

and if i write this down... the Internet will make it true.... it's like positive technology manifestation.... i made this up..but it seems like it could be real.....right?

everything will be ok

the universe will protect 

good choices will be made

things will be good 

i have human worry...it eats my brain

i bought a octopus with my brother

and tomorrow  i am going to cook it ... what will happen?

 no one knows.....