evening

afternoon

hey, i have a question... WHAT IS LIFE?

this is my morning mind...what will happen by late afternoon?

the most beautiful email I ever got

too bad it is from a NON HUMAN (monster):
Subject: I AM INTERESTING IN YOU-
My name is Rita Kipkalya, i saw your contact today and became intrested in you.Iam good looking and caring. i will also like to know you better, i want you to send an email to me so that i can send you my picture for you to know whom i am also tell you more about me. i believe we can move from here.In life we need someone whose presence can add colours to a dull day.I am waiting for your mail . Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life.Take good care of yourself and keep fit.Yours Love Rita.

Keep fit you guys,
Love,
Crystal Lil

P.S. Friends Forever, you add colours to a dull day.

like all good jews... i love easter

so.. as i understand it ..easter is about jesus being a haunted ghost zombie... how can i NOT love it... throw in egg crafts and outdoor hunting.... i am sooooo in! 

 i made eggs that reminded me of my youth... broken windows.

you crack the shell before you put it in the dye..leave it for a few minutes...and when you peel it.... surprise! it will cost you $500 to replace!  perfect.

with all of my beautiful eggs  i made a yummy dish that i like to call "juvenile delinquent egg salad"  isn't it pretty?

this is my easter gift. I have been eyeing it for weeks...and now it's all mine! it's a green rat ring with a flashlight as the nose... i love it so much!!!! thanks jesus... for never giving up.

I'm going to go to the store to buy apples for a pie

And I'm gonna tell you allll about it later, you lucky so-and-so!

and so i did

don't wait for me to call. i threw my cell phone in the river

hello? crystal lil? it's me... the mannequin of joan rivers. wanna hang out? you can borrow my belt..i KNOW how you feel about animal print....tell the people your theory on the stuff....go on...tell em'

put this in your grinder!

is this what you were thinking? 

stuff I want

"Sometimes I think about running away and becoming a hooker on Hollywood Blvd.
Just so I can meet Richard Gere."
-Donna Martin

Donna really wasn't the sharpest pencil, was she? Everyone knows the whole point of being a hooker is so you can buy nice things. God, Donna.
Like this Malia Mills bikini:

and I'll take this too, please:

oh and these shorts:

aaaaaannd this dress thanks:

We're going to pretend that we didn't see this highly questionable item:


P.S. What can I grind in a meat grinder besides meat? I want a meat grinder.