Friday, May 8, 2009

it's my half birthday.i want to talk about it


ok....yesterday was my half birthday...an event i have celebrated for as long as i can remember..i LOVE my half birthday so so so much and i will tell you why... 

the pressure of my actual birthday has always been too much for me to take...i have been known to bug out.... i think i will post more on this later to illustrate what a total  freak i am...but for now let's talk about the joy and wonder that is the half birthday.

it's  all the fun none of the pressure..and if you can con your friends and loved ones into celebrating it's the jam of all jams! here is how my day went:
i called my parents (like i do every year)to remind them that today is the big (well..medium i guess) day... my conversation with my mom went like this 
Mom: hello?
me: IT'S MY HALF BIRTHDAY MOM.. DID YOU FORGET?
Mom: who is this? can't you say hello?
me: no
Mom: well happy half birthday birthday!  the reason i forgot it was your half birthday is because i am too busy remembering that EVERY DAY is your little brothers birthday.  

please note this picture of the calendar at my folks house... my brother drove an hour to their house when they weren't home and wrote "mike's birthday" on every single fucking day of the year-except my birthday-thanks brooother.
so.. then i went to a espionage themed secret restaurant with a password ..a concealed entrance in a bookcase...a magician bartender..a piece of the Berlin wall...mysterious pay phones that doubled as secret passageways..and weirdly..they had this picture of me and crystal lil..how did they get that? this was taken before we were smart enough to know where to buy shirts....those were the days
.but here is the craziest part of this wild dining establishment THEY HAD CRINKLE CUT FRENCH FRIES! excuse me?


ok, this day only gets better.. i moseyed along to a completely unchanged 60's nightcap lounge where my waitress was about 75 (no joke) and totally named somthing like Shirley Ann but they probably call her Skipper... the decor was plastic poinsettia heavy.. and there are no windows in the joint..so no matter what time of day you go in..you feel like it is the witching hour! the booths are vinyl minty green and there are red holiday lights EVERYWHERE but that's the best part because everyone knows red lighting makes a lady look her foxiest... 
Doesn't this photo look all christmasy and shit well IT WAS TAKEN YESTERDAY! god i lovvvvvvved it!  and did i mention all the drinks were craaaazy.

peep this alcoholic milkshake i got indulgent with... what? that cookie is beckoning me..it whispers yes...yes
the bathroom had a pull up bar.you know..for those times when you sit down to pee and you realize you have had 1 too many 40 oz. mai tai's  and there is no one in sight to pull your drunk ass out of the mess that is your life! 

   man... can i just say i wish every day was my half birthady.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happy .5 Birthday!!
Luv D

Crystal Lil said...

I feel like such a dick for blowing off your half birthday! When you texted me yesterday I was all "oh cool...weirdo!" because I didn't realize it was a real thing.

But it is! I give thanks for the day you...turned 6 months old.

friends forever or until i give up humans all together. said...

that's ok...you can make it up to me by making me half a pie when i see you...and by half a pie i mean a whole pie...that i eat in 2 sittings...half today..half tomorrow. i like blackberry.

Hank Cameron Ewing said...

What I wanna know is who decorated that cake?! That was no half-assed, half-birthday cake...that looked like someone had to get out the piping bag and multiple tips. Good goin'!
And Happy Half Birthday :)

Brendan said...

congratulalalalalalalalalalalationses

Crystal Lil said...

half blackberry half ponytails

friends forever or until i give up humans all together. said...

pony tails are more of a crisp thing. ponytail crisp....