kids are totally fucking weird. part 1 or "have fun with your brain"

i have a 9 year old neighbor who i totally adore more than most humans that walk the earth. we kick it all the time and he seriously LOVES gum. hubba bubba glop to be specific. he is always saying really funny shit and he has good manners...so we are pretty much the bestest of buds... he told me once that the reason we are such good friends is because we are "friendly and weird" he also told me that i am good at "gardening, drawing and teaching respect".... so true! 

so today he gave me a book that all the kids at his school made...it's for the "this i believe" project on public radio...( thisibelieve.org ) check it out.it's cool.... so i was reading the book and totally dying..because kids are bonkerzzzzzzz.  i wanted to share some of this with you because it is probably the most brilliant thing i have encountered in a long time... it's from kids  1st-5th grade....if you know a kid..talk to them... they will tell you some weird weird shit...

a lot of the kids wrote some bullshit canned crap about believing in god and family and love...and a huge number of boys wrote that they believed that they would be rich and famous sports stars...some kids wrote really personal stuff about dead relatives, dads who are in jail..and one girl wrote about being a tomboy and being called a boy in the ladies bathroom.... it made me tear up..it was really brave of her to share her story.... another kid wrote "i believe i can have all the shoes i want"  but then there are the kids that have crazy brain magic... i was a weird kid like them....and now look at me! i have a stupid blog and an attitude problem! there is hope!!!

 here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

"i believe in my dogs because i love dogs and cats. I have five cats,their names are Funky,Selina,Gomaz,Roady,Ruffy and Ruffle.I love dogs and cats because  they are really nice.i believe in horses because i like them. They are like humans to me and they also come alive in my dreams"

my neighbor had this to say:  "I believe in ufo's because i have seen them in the sky at night.I've seen them with my own eyes in the sky. I've seen 600 of them in one day! I want to meet the UFOs. I believe in the lochness monster. I've seen a movie that is a true story about them!"

i asked him about it and he said they are black and look like 2 sombreros stuck together....awesome!

this girl in 2nd grade said this: "i believe it is important to design clothes because without clothes no one would have anything to wear."  she is going to grow up to be a bitch...just watch...

ok, this is my all time favorite..i keep reading it over and over..it is soooo good. this kid is in 2nd grade : 

"my brain is as big as a tree stump, or a volcano screaming a roar, maybe a carpet. um...maybe a carpet above the floor, how about a friendship. A big gigantic heart. A beautiful brain is beautiful to me, but yucky to you, a slimy thing is better than not knowing anything. Just know a brain is great just like you. Your brain is like technology, working even in a storm. If you like eating shredded wheat your brain is giant, so it loves to work. Don't hate your brain, it helps you learn how to write,read,spell and learn. Have fun with your brain. just be yourself so it will work, give your brain energy so eat breakfast everyday!"