Sunday, April 26, 2009

sexxx dreams part 1 ..or..doin' "it" with a loser

I have some secrets to admit... these are dirty secrets...which we all know are the best kind..... i'm going to just jump right in and tell you.... 
i had a sex dream about Brandon from 90210. yep. i did.
          let me paint the picture...

 there i was... decked out in train conductor overalls with 1 strap down -ala blossom or kris kross if you're nasty-   i had on chili red matte lipstick.. liquid eyeliner and frosty pink eyeshadow.  i was basically Emily Valentine...but with WAY better hair and a less winy, shitty way of talking... oh-and i didn't have that type of long chin-centric hooker face that she has....ok, i wasn't really Emily Valentine at all.... but i was totally into lighting fires and "fucking shit up"... 

 
ok, back to it....Brandon asks me to take a ride in his car... i get in the car and in the back seat i find like-maybe 30 pairs of women's shoes..but really embarrassing styles, like aqua socks and platform flip flops and those tall clear stripper heels  that only look good on tranny's ...i ask him where they came from and he pulls me close and puts his fingers to my lips and says "shut your mouth or i'll do it for you" (hot right?..ok, maybe it's just me...WAIT it is just me ..this is my dream...shit.) anyway,
i'll spare you the nasty bits...but we hump... but he sucks at it...and i wake up right as i yell "THIS IS NO WAY TO PARTY"
now, ....there are a LOT of things wrong with this dream....i won't even get into it..what i will ask you is this: why the hell did i dream about boning Brandon when in my waking life i would much rather hot tongue Dylan? 
as  fellow 90210 loving blogger goody proctor  ( www.regularcarpetride.blogspot.com ) pointed out on my last 90210 post  "Brandon always walks like he has very recently been butt-fucked"

'nuff said

7 comments:

Crystal Lil said...

Remember when you told me that lingerie is always named after me because I have a slutty name. Great moments in feminism.

Crystal Lil said...

Also you had that dream because Brandon is your shadow self DOYYYEEE

friends forever or until i give up humans all together. said...

i only said that thing about your name BECAUSE IT'S TRUE... and hey!-i have the scum manifesto tattooed on my cleavage ....

friends forever or until i give up humans all together. said...

f.y.i my shadow self is woody allen

shane walsh said...

you guys are bonkers......this blog is fuckin bonkerz!

friends forever or until i give up humans all together. said...

at least our blog isn't BOOORRRRIIINNNNGGG...... you need more celebrity gossip..or ...pictures of animals doing funny things that humans do..... paintings shmantings.... we can help you..if you wanna help yourself

Crystal Lil said...

Yeah you need an advice column. I'll write it (no charge)