Thursday, April 30, 2009

the exorcist made delicious

here is a very quick vegetarian dish that gives me special spring feelings.
 ummm. i'm going to call it "lunch date with Linda Blair" or....
 "springy pea dumplin' time 
here is what you do:
1. get some won ton wrappers at the store.. (one package)
2.pick up some fresh shelled peas or frozen ones... if you have to be like that (2 -ish cups)
3. then get a lemon (1), some plain yogurt or ricotta if your sassy(1/2 cup), an onion or a couple of shallots if you think you are better than everyone(which you probably are)
4. you can put some yummy hard cheese in there too... like Parmesan or asiago-but don't let me pressure you..it's not necessary

*put peas in boiling water for about 3 minutes if frozen or 1 min if fresh- you want to pull them off as soon as they get bright green(they should be just cooked) and then immediately run under cold water to stop the cooking DO NOT OVER COOK THESE LIL' PEAS -you will regret it almost as much as the time you let that kid with hygiene issues feel you up in the back of the bus...
*meanwhile-cut up your onion or high-class shallot and saute it until caramelized..if you don't know what that means..there is NOTHING i can do for you.. you should look into a career as a beach cartoonist or something.     note:i make fun..but that is actually my dream job..that ...or hooker.

 *mash up your peas... not too smooth -leave a few lumpy
*add ricotta or yogurt
*zest that lemon and stick it in there...
*salt and pepper it
*put cheese in it ( i don't because i like to be difficult)

ok..now make into won tons...here is a picture to help... 
put a dollop(not too much) i use the guess and check method ) in the middle . sprinkle onion on top  and fold.  if you get all greedy and put too much in here you will fail..at life.
don't over do it man...it will bust the seams and you will have low self worth for days. resist!
you can wing the folding it if you have small motor skills problems..but if i had my way i would force you to do it like this(this is my version of fascism..there is more where that came from)
*wet 2 sides along the edge of the wrapper
*fold into a triangle
*wet the tippy top of the triangle and fold remaining 2 sides towards this wet and ready peak.
ok, that's it... form an assembly line and fold all these  bitches up.....

 i like to make 1 surprise dumpling per batch- this entails tucking something unexpected in the wrapper..say -a dead bug or a bottle cap.... i like to keep my guests guessing....mwwwaahahaha

now you can cook them. you have 2 choices. fry. steam.

fry(ummmm indulgent)  heat 1/4 of an inch olive oil in a skillet and put your dumplins' on in there, fry one side until brown and flip it over to do the same on the other side. it's like sun tanning only more Delicious.
steam: oil up a steaming device of your choice...bamboo, metal whateva' . and steam them for like 4 minutes... you want the wrappers to be translucent-so just put down your pack of camel lights and watch them....
look at that lil' cooker.. you made dumplings! your happy as a cat!
i like to dip them in sauces of all kinds... wasabi, tzatziki,sweet chili.. go wild. you deserve it!

1 comment:

friends forever or until i give up humans all together. said...

hello! someone comment that this is delicious...cuz it is sucka